


Komorebi

by BAP_stardrop



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe, Bittersweet, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 01:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5724922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BAP_stardrop/pseuds/BAP_stardrop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngjae had said too much.<br/>Daehyun was too scared to speak.</p><p>This is their story.</p><p> </p><p>*Komorebi - Sunlight that filtered through the leaves of trees.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Komorebi

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [the_brownie_bunch_4](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/the_brownie_bunch_4) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
>  **Trigger Warning:** none  
>  **Characters and / or Pairings:** any  
>  **Description:** [photograph](http://i.imgur.com/QaVnVGx.png) caption: _image a world where the words you speak appear on your skin_
> 
> (take this in any direction you like)
> 
> Translation (Russian): https://ficbook.net/readfic/5180869 (thank you softlis <3)

Youngjae traced the words written on his arm with his finger. He hated them, he hated every single word on his skin, they felt like a disease that he had to wash off in order to be able to breathe again. But there was no point trying, no matter how hot he showered and how much he scrubbed his skin, the words would not disappear. As much as he wanted to blame the universe for his fate, deep down he knew that the black writing on himself were his own creation.

Other people had words in pretty curves and lines written on their skin but no matter which part of his body he observed, every line was messy and just not nice to look at, even the few nice words he had said looked ugly. He was ugly. Almost his whole body was covered in lines written in black, as dark as his soul, dull and sorrowful - at least the colour suited him. The words were just a reflection from what was hiding inside of him, he was just ugly from the inside like he was on the outside. Too many times he had lost control over himself and before he knew, the words were spoken, leaving ugly trails for everyone to see and no matter how much he wished he could change, it took an average adult about 10 years to completely replace the words imprinted on their skin.

Humans carried their history open on their skin, every word spoken would immediately be engraved until everything but their face was an open book for everyone to read. At one point, people had seen this whim of nature as a blessing for humankind, thinking it would lead to more caution and peace between humans because rotten apples could be distinguished easily. For Youngjae, it was a curse because he was one of those rotten apples. He was one of the ugly ones. And there were a lot of other ugly people out there too.

No matter how cold or hot it was outside, Youngjae always wore clothes that covered his arms and his neck completely. The people around him had gotten used to it long ago and in exchange, Youngjae had gotten used to people avoiding him. He had something to hide and that was crucial enough for others to decide that they didn't want to be around him. But Youngjae rather bore the burden of people fearing what he could be than living with the knowledge that people despised him for what he actually was. It was better that way. He usually walked through the streets with slouched shoulders and his gaze lowered to the ground, he didn't want to make eye-contact nor witness how people purposely cross to the other side of the road, far away from him.

Youngjae liked winter the most because during this time he could pretend for a while that he wasn't hiding. When it was cold outside, Youngjae could feel normal for a while. Sometimes he would board a train and just travel to another city where nobody knew him. People were actually friendly to him, if it was a little boy calling him 'hyung' or the elderly lady who offered him Kimbap in such a kind manner that he couldn't help but smile and accept the food with a bow. But winter was too short and he smiled way too little, he had no reason to although he wished that things were different for him.

For the rest of the year, he was the outsider. His way to college was always the same, it was always the same crowded train with mostly the same faces. Even though it was full with people, Youngjae always managed to have enough space, the other passengers always made sure to keep some distance to him as if he had a contagious disease they didn't want to catch. A part of him was hurt that nobody wanted to make the effort to look past what they could see but then, he probably wouldn't react any different if he was in their place. When he left the train, he always saw the same people, other students from his University. They always talked about him, he could feel the looks prickling at his skin and in the rare occasions he looked back, he saw them whispering and pointing at him. But they never ever talked with him.

Youngjae wasn't the only outsider though. There was a boy in his classes that was probably even more mysterious and talked about than he was. Jung Daehyun, the boy who never spoke. Nobody had ever heard him say a word and from what Youngjae had picked up from the other's conversations, his arms and legs were completely bare of words. People had questioned if he was mute but he didn't seem to want any interactions in another way either so people stopped approaching him. Now they were often talking about him but rarely in a malicious way. They saved those words for Youngjae and he wondered if one day they would be the ones hiding in shame of what they had said, if they would be the ones looking at their skin and want to rip it off just like he did.

This was Youngjae's routine of loneliness.

He had two more years of University before he could hopefully apply for a decent job that required him wearing a suit for every occasion so he didn't have to worry about exposure. Since he had no one to spend his free time with, he used all his energy to get the best grades so at least this would not be another obstacle in his future. Youngjae looked out of the window, watching other students playing football during their free period. They were smiling. In the past there had been times he had wished to be one of them but were they really better than him? All the words they had said about him were somewhere written down on their body, an evidence for a lot of years.

The bell rang to release them for lunch break, the time of the day Youngjae dreaded the most. He made sure to stay as far away from the others as possible, not that the cafeteria offered a lot of space for that. If the weather was good enough, he would spend the break outside in a nearby park that was usually empty at this time. There he could spend the whole time eating in peace and listening to the soft rustle of leaves.

Youngjae overheard the conversation of a few classmates as he left the classroom. The things they murmured about him were so ugly that even he wouldn't want to repeat them and when he turned around to look at them, they were sending Youngjae glares as if he had been the one to do wrong, as if his mere existence excused their behaviour. His insides were boiling with anger, his mind was racing with unsaid words but he used all his self-control to stop himself from saying them.

With gritted teeth to keep quiet, he stomped out of the building and rushed to the park, he didn't even bother to get food, he had lost his appetite. For a moment he thought about skipping the rest of the day but they were not worth missing the lectures. The break would hopefully give him enough time to calm down. It was warm outside and the birds where chirping, the perfect atmosphere to close his eyes for a while and let those negative thoughts pass. Youngjae hated them.

Youngjae had fallen asleep for a while because when he opened his eyes again, it took him a few seconds to gather his thoughts and realize where he was. When he looked around he noticed that someone was sitting next to him and he thought he must be dreaming because it was the first time someone didn't put as much distance between them and him as they could. But the person was his classmate Daehyun and he seemed quite real, not that it did anything to lessen the questions arising in Youngjae.

“Hello,” Daehyun said when Youngjae remained quiet. It was the first time that Youngjae heard his voice, it had a nice and light tone to it. So Daehyun wasn't mute after all, at least this question was answered.

“Oh. So you can speak after all,” Youngjae said. He sounded unfriendlier than he intended to but nobody had approached him and it ended in a good way before so this time could be no exception.

“Yes,” Daehyun chuckled, unfazed by Youngjae's harshness. “I just prefer to not speak too much.”

“So you won't end up like me,” Youngjae replied.

“Kind of,” Daehyun said more quietly.

“At least you're honest. What do you want?” Youngjae growled.

“I heard the others talking about you again and decided to follow you when you ran away. I was worried,” Daehyun stated.

“You don't need to worry about me. You don't even know me,” Youngjae spat. He hadn't noticed he had been followed because he had been too deep in his own thoughts to be aware of his surroundings. Daehyun opened his mouth to speak for the first time and all that Youngjae wished was that he hadn't. Why did Daehyun suddenly butt into his matters, he had never cared before either.

“I know enough about you to know that you don't deserve those words,” Daehyun mumbled. Youngjae looked at the other, trying to find a hint that he was mocking him but Daehyun's face was calm.

“You know shit,” Youngjae said.

“Why are you so rude? I have never done anything to you,” Daehyun sounded aggrieved. “Don't you think I out of all people can understand how you feel?” he added quietly.

“Nobody can understand me and now leave me alone,” Youngjae said and turned around. He didn't want to see Daehyun's face any longer, he could save his pity for somebody else, Youngjae didn't need it.

“Nobody should spend a lovely day like this alone, not even you Youngjae. I feel that you and I have a sort of connection, something that the other's can't understand,” Daehyun said quietly.

“Do I have to repeat myself? Who do you think you are that you say somebody like you could understand me? No one can!” Youngjae was angry. Daehyun had no right to stick his nose in his matters and act as if he meant well. No human being apart from his mother had good intentions, what ever Daehyun wanted from him, he wouldn't give it to him.

“Go and fuck yourself and now leave me alone,” Youngjae shouted. He almost felt the burning on his skin when these words appeared on the back of his hand. He was already ugly so a few more words wouldn't make any difference, he was a lost case anyway. But when he looked at Daehyun's face, hurt and almost broken, he regretted what he had just said. An agony like he had never felt before spread from his chest to his throat, clasping around his airway to choke him. Subconsciously, his hand grabbed his collar, pulling on it to make it easier to breathe. It didn't help.

Daehyun's eyes filled with tears and once again, Youngjae hated himself. He was searching for words of apology, anything to make it better but the damage was already done and even if he was able to open his mouth to stutter out some words, there was nothing that would excuse his behaviour. His second thought was to run away, get some distance between them and hope he will wake up and this had just been a nightmare. Youngjae had lost control over the beast inside him once again. Before he could do anything it was Daehyun who got up and started running, the sound of his footsteps on the grass almost mocking Youngjae. The silence that followed was almost unbearable, Youngjae could hear the blood rushing in his ears, his heart was hammering so heavily that he thought he would have a heart attack any moment.

Youngjae skipped the rest of his classes and when Youngjae came home, he walked straight to his room, ignoring his mother's greetings. He threw his bag on the floor, dropped all his clothes and locked himself into the bathroom. He could still taste his own words, the poison of it burning on his tongue and crawling under his skin to hurt him even more. The only thing l he wanted to do was to wash off that feeling, he turned the tap for the hot water and stepped under the spray. The water hurt, it burned his skin but he deserved the pain for hurting Daehyun when he had done nothing wrong. Even though he was surrounded by steam, he shuddered from the cold feeling coming from his chest.

All that Youngjae had ever wanted was somebody who was open enough to give him a chance to prove himself and now that someone had made the step, Youngjae hurt him, proving that he was just the monster everyone thought he was. His only hope was that his carelessness would not affect Daehyun although he knew very well this was an empty hope, something he tried to delude himself with to make the pain go away, at least a little. He showered until his skin was numb and he spent the rest of the day in his room.

The next day, Youngjae didn't go to University and he also didn't go the day after. It had been a long time since Youngjae cried but every time he looked at his hand, he felt tears threatening to fall. He barely left his room, only when his mother called him for food he went to the kitchen to stir in his bowl for a while and leave most of the food untouched. His mother had stopped asking and he was thankful for that, the last thing he wanted was to lose control and snap at her, leaving another ugly mark on his skin.

He dreamed from the past, he dreamed about him, the man he made responsible for all his misery. It was one of his childhood memories that kept replaying in his dreams, torturing him again and again. He had only been 6 years old when he started to realize that something in his family wasn't quite right. His mother, who was supposed to have the brightest smile and kind eyes was often found in her own thoughts, her face displaying deep sadness. Youngjae had always been a bright kid, it didn't take him long to put the pieces together.

All the times his father had come home late, all the mornings he had left the house without giving either Youngjae or his mother a goodbye kiss. Youngjae's father didn't care and he didn't make a secret out of it. Youngjae had been 10 years old when he raised his voice against his father for the first time. Many times followed after and the older he got, the nastier his arguments with his dad became. Too many years Youngjae had stayed quiet and locked up his feelings until there was no pure space left in his heart. At first he had felt better when he shouted out all the horrible things to his father and the slap in his face he received afterwards had showed him that at least his father was able to feel some emotions to him. But the more his skin became tarnished, the more he started regretting.

His parent's marriage had been arranged, just like so many others in the world of business. Maybe his mother had hoped there would develop love or at least affection between them but she had been wrong. As soon as Youngjae had been born, his father started entertaining himself with other women. Youngjae had never been loved by him and that was why it had escalated like this. If even his own father couldn't love him, why should he love himself?

Youngjae dreamed about the day he had almost been broken, the day his mother had decided to put an end to all this, to safe herself and Youngjae from the neglect. Since then he had not lost control again but it had been too late for him. He had locked away his emotions carefully, to a place where he thought even he couldn't find it anymore, disregarding every sign of emotion, they were what had caused his pain and he didn't want them anymore.

Daehyun and his gentle voice though have broken through all his walls that he had so diligently pulled up around him. A few words that were so tender were enough to make Youngjae's blood boil with all those emotions he had abandoned. He hadn't been ready for that, he had lost control over his words again and maybe his only chance for someone who could maybe understand him.

On his fourth day absent from University, he woke up with a shock again. Another nightmare that was unwelcome. He jumped up, clutching his heart, trying to even his breath. His hands were shaking. It took him a while to realize that someone was sitting on his chair right next to his bed, it was Daehyun. Youngjae's eyes widened, the panic crept over him even more and he fought the urge to hide underneath his blanket.

A thousand thoughts ran through Youngjae's mind and just as usual, Daehyun didn't say anything, he waited for Youngjae, maybe he waited for him to calm down or maybe he was waiting for his thoughts to eat him up alive. But Daehyun's face was gentle, his eyes full of warmth and empathy. It helped Youngjae to calm down and after a few minutes, he was able to reach for his water bottle and drown the nasty taste in his mouth.

“Why are you here?” Youngjae asked after a while of silence, his voice was quiet, almost inaudible but Daehyun picked up the words anyway.

“You haven't been in any lessons the whole week, so I was worried and searched the school's registry for your address,” Daehyun explained.

“But why?” Youngjae wanted to know. He didn't deserve Daehyun's kindness, not after what he had done.

“Haven't I already told you before? I feel like I can connect with you and I'm not willing to give up just yet.”

Daehyun smiled. It was a real smile, gentle and genuine, Youngjae had no doubts that the other said the truth. His heart felt conflicted, a part of him wanted to jump at this chance but the other was too scared to come out of his shell and end up being hurt. Youngjae looked down at his hands, the ugly words were there, glaring at him. He was just wearing a shirt and his arms were exposed, never anyone else than his mother had seen this part of him and he felt naked and defenceless.

“I'll get a sweater quickly,” Youngjae mumbled and threw his blanket away. Daehyun observed him, his eyes wandering from his arms to his bare legs, Youngjae had never felt so little before. But Daehyun's eyes weren't judging him, his gaze was not loathing, Daehyun just seemed curious.

“Don't,” Daehyun suddenly said, grabbing for Youngjae's wrist to stop him from getting up. “I want to see you, the real you.”

“I'm ugly,” Youngjae said. His throat felt dry and constricted again. It wasn't his face that he thought looked ugly, if anything he would even say he was on the handsome side if it wasn't for his skin.

“You're beautiful.”

Youngjae wasn't sure if he had imagined those words or not but when he turned his head, Daehyun was looking at him. Daehyun was just mocking him, he was sure of that but just when he was about to open his mouth to protest, Daehyun put a finger on his lips to silence him.

Daehyun took Youngjae's palm in between his own hands, making Youngjae's skin prickle. It was the first time Youngjae felt something slightly pleasant and it threatened to overwhelm him but he forced himself to stay calm and listen to what Daehyun wanted to say. Usually, Daehyun was so reluctant to speak and Youngjae had so many questions about why, so he didn't want to stop him now he was willing to talk.

“I've been watching you for a while and I've been listening to the things people said about you before I made the decision to approach you. Ever since I was a kid I thought that it was a punishment to live in the time where this happens to us,” Daehyun said and pointed at the writing on Youngjae's hand.

“People forgot how to use their judgement because they think once they see you, they know everything about you. But we are not only what we said, we are also what we think and mostly what we do. Yes, horrible words can be said but there are worse things you can do and nobody can see it. It's not fair to judge somebody only for what they said once in their lifetime.”

“The words we say become the house we live in but I'd rather call it a prison. When I look at you I see someone with a history, every word you ever said was induced by somebody else and if you said bad things then maybe the other person deserved it. And if you think they didn't deserve it then you can use this to learn from your mistakes and do better in the future. It's not too late for you to change your history.”

“Last Winter I happened to see you around the countryside. You were taking care of an elderly lady's grandson when her restaurant was very busy. It was the first and only time I saw you smile, you looked so carefree that I almost thought it was a different person. But that was the moment I knew that whatever you said in the past, it can't be as bad as you think it is.”

Youngjae was speechless. His heart was aching after hearing Daehyun's words but this time it wasn't the deep agony he had felt the previous days. It rather felt like a part of his burden had been dug out and brought to the surface for him to look at it, to confront himself with it. The way Daehyun spoke he sounded very hopeful that Youngjae could be fixed but Youngjae himself didn't have the courage.

Youngjae wanted to ask Daehyun many questions, he wanted to know why Daehyun was so persistent with him, they didn't know each other after all but maybe Daehyun really understood him better than he understood himself. Daehyun's hand felt so warm around his fingers, Youngjae could feel the energy coming from the other boy and he wondered if he was the angel being sent to save him.

He did ask Daehyun and Daehyun told him his own story and even showed him the few lines that were written on his back. It was beautiful, almost looking like traditional calligraphy. Although it was the first time that Youngjae saw completely bare skin and at any other time he would have wished to be like this as well but with Daehyun he really wanted to see more of those beautiful syllables. Daehyun's voice sounded beautiful and the words on his skin were a perfect image of this beauty.

Youngjae cried and Daehyun cried, it was relieving. Daehyun stayed over for the rest of the day and Youngjae realized that maybe fate had brought them together like this because they needed each other to let go of the past, to learn the beauty of this world without losing focus on what was important. Youngjae still thought he was ugly but Daehyun had ignited a fire in his heart that wanted to fight and take over the usual coldness that had always been present. After hours of talking to Daehyun, learning about the other and bathing in his warmth and acceptance, Youngjae felt hope that one day the ugly coat of his past could be thrown away and replaced by something more beautiful.

When he was lying in bed, he thought for a moment that he was being careless and irresponsible to simply accept Daehyun at his side, to let someone he didn't know into his safe shelter. But after hours of staying awake and thinking about it, he decided it was worth a try. If he didn't try now he could pass a chance that wouldn't come again and if he ended up being disappointed, it couldn't have been as bad as his father had been.

  


  


That the two outsiders were sharing a table in the cafeteria was the hot talk for a whole week. The unusual sight caused a lot of curiosity amongst the other students. But the even bigger surprise was that Daehyun was talking, the boy who had never said a word to any of them was talking animatedly to Youngjae, who was still wearing his usual turtleneck with long sleeves although it was way too warm outside for it.

Over the weeks, things changed for both of them. They were still outsiders but they weren't lonely any longer. Daehyun promised Youngjae that they would talk so much that Youngjae could replace the words as soon as possible and every day, Daehyun allowed Youngjae to inspect the new words on his skin,on his back and neck, on his biceps and his chest although Youngjae had been too scared to show Daehyun his skin again.

The pain of it was still too present in his memories, he needed time to nurse his wounds and Daehyun gave him all the time he needed. At some point, they turned from friends to lovers, slowly and quietly without any words spoken about it. Holding hands had become normal to them and both of them knew what it was between them, they didn't need to say it out loud.

Daehyun had become the light in Youngjae's life, shining through the thick crowns of the trees into his lonely and dark forest he had built around himself. Slowly, his life became brighter and more colourful, the usual scowl on his face was replaced with a shy smile. Daehyun said he liked Youngjae's smile.

Youngjae didn't want to hide any longer, not from the others but more important, he didn't want to hide from himself. Too many years he had already lost wallowing in hate and self-pity. It wasn't before the winter when he felt enough courage to leave the house without the safety of his turtlenecks, allowing others to view the words on his necks. Ironically, this used to be the time he felt the safest because he had an excuse to wrap himself in clothes, it was the time he didn't stick out and he had found little peace every year. He had yet to build up enough trust to let Daehyun see everything, he was too scared that Daehyun would still back out and abandon him but they were making small steps every day. Youngjae was thankful for Daehyun's never ending patience.

Daehyun was someone who had a lot to say. It seemed that in his life he had seen and experienced so many things, it was enough for two lifetimes. Listening to Daehyun's voice made Youngjae feel calm. Whenever the nightmares plagued him again at night, he would ask Daehyun to tell him a story so he could find a few peaceful hours of sleep. Daehyun was his pillar to lean on, he was the one who gave him strength to keep on fighting.

  


***

  


Warmth. That was the first thing Youngjae noticed when Daehyun's hands travelled over his skin. The cold air had made him shiver before but with Daehyun being so close, he felt like he was embraced by a warm flame that was about to engulf him completely. Youngjae had never felt so exposed to someone before and his instinct told him to fight, to push Daehyun away, put his shirt back on and run away as fast as he could. But Youngjae had made a promise and the thought of Daehyun's beautiful eyes looking away in disappointment broke his heart enough to keep himself motionless. Youngjae never wanted to see the other hurt again.

“You're so beautiful Youngjae,” Daehyun whispered. He meant it, Daehyun wouldn't lie. But Youngjae had the words at the tip of his tongue already, he wanted to call Daehyun a liar anyway because he had become too comfortable with the thought that he was ugly, because there was no way somebody could find him beautiful, not like this. He didn't say those words, he swallowed them bitterly, feeling as if he drank poison. Daehyun's touch had something healing, it was the first time in his life that Youngjae didn't feel like scratching it off. Daehyun cupped Youngjae's face and the latter looked up hesitantly. Shame crawled of Youngjae's skin because now, Daehyun had seen it all, the worst of him that he couldn't hide, not from himself at least. He was waiting for Daehyun to be the one to jump up and run. Daehyun didn't. Instead, he took Youngjae's hand and held it firmly between his own before he lifted it to his face, kissing the back of it. Youngjae's eyes widened in horror, instinctively he tried to retreat his hand but Daehyun's hold was too strong.

Youngjae's skin was burning at the place the other's lips had touched it, at the place where the words he probably regretted the most were imprinted, mocking him day by day. Kissing the ugly words Youngjae had said to him was the biggest sign of mercy Daehyun could have shown. Daehyun didn't leave it at that. He placed a kiss on the other's skin that was as gentle as the touch of a feather. Word for word, Daehyun worked his way up Youngjae's arm, whispering reassuring words and sweet nothings in between.

It hurt. Daehyun's acceptance was the most painful but most wonderful thing he had ever felt before. Every kiss stung like a burning needle reaching deep down to his bones. It was so painful that Youngjae gasped and choked on air every time those wonderful lips touched his skin. Daehyun pushed him gently to lie on his back and he couldn't object, he was mesmerized too much to gather any clear thoughts. The kisses on his chest were even more painful than those on his arm but he endured it. For Daehyun.

Tears rolled down Youngjae's cheeks, the only evidence of the unknown pain deep within his heart. Daehyun stopped to kiss the tears away, to hold Youngjae's face in his hands and rub their noses together. Every part Daehyun had kissed felt tingly and great, as if his kisses had purified the curse of Youngjae's past. For a moment, it didn't matter that they were there because Daehyun loved him anyway, he accepted him with all his flaws. Maybe he wasn't ugly after all, at least not in Daehyun's eyes. It was enough for Youngjae.

Youngjae cried until he had no tears left, he cried even after Daehyun had kissed every place of his upper body, he cried until all pain in his soul had been poured out. He fell asleep in Daehyun's arms, his nose buried in the soft fabric of the other's shirt. For the first time in his life, he felt loved, he even felt worthy to be loved that was how convincing Daehyun had been. Youngjae wanted to bask in this feeling as long as he could.

From that day on, things changed. The new writing on Youngjae's body no longer looked messy and loveless, he anticipated every new word on him with sheer excitement. After Daehyun had accepted him he had learned to accept himself. Daehyun had taught him that not only perfect circles and straight lines were beautiful. He still had a long way to go and many years to endure before the last traces of the history he so desperately tried to erase would vanish but he wasn't going this way alone any longer. Daehyun had kept his promise to make him talk so much so the words would be replaced faster than the average 10 years and when the next summer came, Youngjae wore a short-sleeved shirt for the first time since he had been a child.

Freedom. Youngjae felt unburdened because finally, he was no victim of hi words anymore. When people took the usual curious glance at his bare skin he no longer felt like hiding, although he noticed people's stares, he was carrying his past with pride, it was all thanks to Daehyun. But not only Youngjae had changed. Slowly, Daehyun's skin began to darken with the imprints of his own words, his own history. Youngjae loved every single word of it, they all were beautiful. Daehyun was no longer afraid to speak, in fact, he spoke so much that sometimes, Youngjae would feel the tiniest urge to tell him to be quiet for a moment but he never did because the bigger part of him simply loved the sound of Daehyun's wonderful voice and he loved every story the other had to tell.

Youngjae loved Daehyun and everything about him so for the first time, Youngjae was too afraid to speak, to say three little words out loud. He wanted the moment to be special and he wanted to know where the words would be written down so he could look at it with a smile on his face for many many years. The first one would be the most meaningful to him no matter how many other times would follow.

Daehyun gave a little peck on the back of Youngjae's hand, it had become a habit of his, to show the younger day by day that it didn't matter anymore, that he loved him anyway. It was in the spur of the moment when Daehyun looked Youngjae deep into his eyes with that gentle gaze he always had when looking at him. It was then when Youngjae knew he would never love anybody else.

“I love you Daehyun,” Youngjae said with more confidence than he had expected. Daehyun froze for a second, his eyes wide when he looked straight into the other's face. His eyes trailed from Youngjae's face to his hand and just before Youngjae had time to start feeling self-conscious, a wide grin broke out on Daehyun's face. Daehyun's eyes were glistening from unshed tears, he kissed Youngjae's hand again but this time he kept his lips on the warm skin, mumbling a gentle 'I love you too Youngjae,' on it.

When Daehyun let go of his hand, Youngjae looked at it, intrigued by Daehyun's behaviour. He found that the harsh words he had once said to Daehyun, the words he regretted the most were replaced by his first love confession. Youngjae looked at Daehyun, who smiled at him so lovingly that he could feel the tears threatening to fall down. Feeling embarrassed and overwhelmed, he looked at his hand again, the writing looked pretty, straight lines and gentle curves to emphasize how much he had meant those words.

“Beautiful,” Youngjae whispered. It was the first time that he not only accepted himself but called a word on his skin beautiful and it was worth it.

“I told you that you are beautiful,” Daehyun replied with an 'I-told-you-so-voice'. And whilst he had cringed the first time Daehyun had said those words, this time he was smiling.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello dear person who left this prompt. I hope this little piece brought you a moment of joy! Thank you for leaving this wonderful prompt.  
> I immediately fell in love with it and it somehow called out for me and I could have gone on and on and on writing on it. I worked very hard on it so I hope you are satisfied with the outcome.  
> Since 5000 words were nowhere near enough to write down everything that I wanted - and I have already stretched the word limit quite a bit - I would love to write a sequel to this at some point (if you want and if it's allowed?)
> 
> Everyone else who read this: Hopefully you enjoyed this too. This is kind of my first attempt at an angsty peace like this so although I'm personally satisfied, I feel a little nervous uploading it.
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to stop by and reading this! I wish you a wonderful year 2016!


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